The Notebook 2: Enter: Pandemic

Welcome to the Notebook series.  These are stories from my time abroad, each connected to one main take-away that I learned during those years.

Read the preceding Notebook posts here: INTRO // 1

This post contains the story for the insight: "Nothing is in our control except for how we respond," titled, "Enter: Pandemic (First Lockdown in Nepal)."

Reading time: 4 minutes

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ENTER: PANDEMIC (FIRST LOCKDOWN IN NEPAL)

"Nothing is in our control except for how we respond"

The last story is perhaps a bit similar to this one in how it begins.  Things had been normal and lovely in Nepal from when I arrived in November until drastic changes hit in March.  It was all fine, until it wasn't.  Yes, there were whispers then, too; "there's this virus from China," "it's going to be big," that sort of thing.  But people weren't really taking it seriously at first - myself included.  My boyfriend and I had just started dating.  He had a day off of work and we went on a motorcycle adventure to a beautiful lake.  On our way back, I bought a purple fabric mask, NOT because I was scared of corona, but because I didn't like getting dust in my nose and mouth while we drove.  Little did I know that just an hour later that evening, the Nepali government would announce full lockdown, to go into effect at midnight that night.  Reflecting now on that situation compared to the present, I must say that I am so grateful for the gift of time this round, time to decide to go or stay.  That first time, it was: You're staying, whether you like it or not.

That brings me to lesson #2 that I learned on my journey: nothing is in our control except for how we respond.  I witnessed many kinds of responses to the sudden lockdown, some by others and some within myself.  To be completely honest, I overall was fine with the lockdown.  I was falling in love, and lockdown provided us with the gift of so much time together, in the short and long-term.  (I certainly would not have been able to stay 18 months on a tourist visa if the pandemic didn't exist; in fact, I only had 2 months remaining on my visa when lockdown began.)  I also had just begun my online business, so I had plenty to keep me busy in ways that I actually enjoyed.  My boyfriend was so fortunate to keep his job during lockdown, though for shorter working hours (a welcome gift).  We were very fortunate... but sometimes it didn't feel this way.

Although I generally ended up being fine with lockdown, there were absolutely difficult moments.  Old friends would emerge: depression, anxiety, jealousy, the panicked planning mind that couldn't do what it so desperately wanted to.  I didn't create art in the first weeks of lockdown.  I felt a massive creative block.  I sometimes had breakdowns because I was jealous that I couldn't go out from my guesthouse and have experiences in my day, while my boyfriend would come home from work with stories and news.  I reached a point when I realized, I can't control any of this, but I can view it differently.  I reframed the challenges as opportunities.  Opportunities to be creative with my time.  I realized what I could do rather than focusing on what I couldn't.  I could go for little nature walks in the jungle behind our guesthouse.  I could set goals for myself in the day, usually related to my art business, or sometimes exercise, or other projects.  When I began doing these things, suddenly I did have things to tell my boyfriend when he came home from work.  And over time, the feelings of depression, anxiety, and jealousy were diminishing until I barely encountered them.  Of course these feelings came, but I felt better equipped to handle them, so they would go faster.  I found comfort in the power of being able to decide for myself: how do I want to spend my day, and where do I want to direct my precious mental energy?

Although we would probably love to be able to control our circumstances, we have the greater gift of learning how to control our minds.  We can always grow in this ability.  And how beautiful that is... to focus on what we can influence, that which is already within us.  

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WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

✅ 1. J hunchha ramro ko lagi hunchha (All that will be, will be for good)

✅ 2. Nothing is in our control except for how we respond

3. Plans are illusory - and can cloud your vision

4. The present moment is the only reality

5. Our minds create our lives

6. Everything and everyone are connected in more ways than we can ever understand

7. Compassion is the key to happiness

8. If we were in other people's shoes, we would be doing exactly what they are, because then we would be them

9. Everyone and everything are impermanent

10. True joy comes from inner wisdom, not from following what you think others want you to do

11. Whatever we go through is not personal, not permanent, and has good in it

12. Enjoy the present.  It is all that we have.

Read all published posts from the Notebook Series here.

Stay tuned for the stories that accompany each of these in the coming weeks.

So much love, from home.

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